All Fingers and Thumbs

I shuffle the deck and pull out a word card most days. This Trust one seems to spin round fairly often, perhaps I notice it more  because I feel it so much when I see. I feel the absolute simple truth of it, there aren't questions about what it means or a frisson of excitement about what might be in store. Instead, in my stomach, I feel the truth of it as a clench and relax, a warmth spreading through me as I deepen in to what it is like to live a life where I  Trust  me to look after me. I am so Grateful to be learning how to do that with greater ease day by day, to have chosen to create the space in my life to really dig in to what a life well lived means for me and for playful resources like oracle and tarot cards that aid my inner understanding. This week I think my greatest Inspiration  came in my second ever Falun Gong  class; taught free by dear, generous people I am loving finding new Faith  in the energy within and around my body, in the unseen a...

The newly blossoming easy breezy part of my self is rather delighted that I started this TGIF practice and then immediately missed posting for two weeks. The strict disciplinarian part is raising an eyebrow but she's secretly thinking the grass is rather green and lush over on the easy breezy side! This week there is a new trust in the cycles of my body. Grumpiness at my tiredness on Bank Holiday Monday when there were so many things I wanted to DO was released much more quickly than ever before. I tried to just be grateful I didn't have to work - sank in to the resting - took a nap, started a new novel and then a sweet, caffeine boost saw me out for an evening dinner and walk and a beautiful end to a lovely weekend. Next day, energy to scoop up the essential tasks left aside the previous day. Who knew it could be like this? I am so grateful  to be feeling the rewards of all my healing work these past eighteen months, my body is stronger and happier if not day by day, certa...

I am in the clutches of obsession over a new project and it feels delicious. Inspiration hit yesterday and only the possibility of making my fingertips bleed shoving the needle through the firm fabric stopped me stitching! I've been weighing up how to remodel a rather grubby and too sugar pink laptop case that was rescued from someone's rubbish months ago. On Monday I suddenly knew it had have trees embroidered on it. The catalyst responsible for this happy creative action was a tour of some North Oxfordshire Artweeks open studios  on Saturday afternoon. Fabulous company , wonderful things to look at and scenery to tour through. We finished in the cosiest, arty cottage - think log fire, flagstone floors and a tumbling cat and and dog - relaxed, colourful and layered with life and lovely things. It illustrated exactly what home means to me and gave me a new appreciation for my attempts at curating chaos and feathering my nest. I thought that was my big gift from th...

As I sit here trying to type out my first TGIF post following the example from The Gifts of Imperfection I am forced to acknowledge that one thing perfectionists hate is having their practising observed when they are engaged in something that matters deeply; so much less scary to deal with all of that in private and only let others see when things are more polished!  I guess that is where I'll start then:  Trusting  that undertaking actions like this that make me feel all squeamy are a brilliant way to be vulnerable and practice living authentically. I am so Grateful of course for the book that is inviting me up to my edges and drawing me out and for the things that do that in everyday life, some gently,wonderfully and almost without me noticing (hello spring, hello flowers) and some painfully such as feeling sad on Wednesday without any apparent cause. From that sad place I sought external words of wisdom prowling around the blog world and was enormously ...

Two words to sum up a week relaxing down in Cornwall at my Mum and Dad's slice of lovely. Three and bit novels inhaled - probably more reading than the rest of the year combined. Lots of gentle meandering walks in their garden and by hedgerows, enjoying the abundance of the plant world springing forth. Coming back in for cups of tea, treats with clotted cream and diving in to reference books to identify the more mysterious of the plants observed. Every day I feel like I learned so much and filled up the space in my brain that normally churns over the work dilemmas du jour with little gems of knowledge. One of my favourite learnings: the Latin name officinalis  comes from the word officina , used for the storeroom of a medieval monastery where medicines were kept. This is why it is given to many plants from which drugs can be obtained, such as for the beauty  Taraxacum officinale  or Dandelion pictured above. Letting that information dance around my brain i...

"If we stop long enough to create a quiet emotional clearing, the truth of our lives will inevitably catch up with us." Brené Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection I read those words a couple of weeks ago now and it was one of those beautiful moments in life when your mind and body understand something together. There was a deep exhale and a huge sense of gratitude and relief that not only had I found another person out there who really gets it and is eloquent enough to express it but praise be - the crowning glory - she's written a guidebook to aid me on the next stage of my voyage, sailing through the swamp. As much as I have worked on letting go of 'why? ' it's a relief to have someone validate why things have been the way they have for the last 18 months, why that hasn't looked or felt anything like I imagined it might , why moving out of survivial mode has been hesitant , full of ups and downs , fumbles and stumbles . If you're running from y...

Yesterday was a day full of potential and no plans, and honestly, a day I really wanted to be sunny so that we would be inspired to go for a rambly, up close with the fresh air and nature walk. By lunchtime it was clear that it was not going to be a clear sky day, the grey was set. Low, mizzly when it wasn't actively throwing down the rain. There were other ways to enjoy our time but the woods were calling me and more unusually my body was asking to go. I'm starting to feel the love for stretching and moving my body, sparks of energy that are building in to flames in glorious danger of setting fires. Desires to move that come from deep within rather than thinking that I should do some exercise. It is a huge sign of increasing health and all but alien to me. I used to hear friends talk about going for a run/to an exercise class/playing a match because they wanted to and could only translate that in to them having more willpower, more drive to exercise than me. I could ofte...