Crafting a delicious adventure, exploring this beautiful life, finding joy by being in the moment
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The sound of letting go
It's a big yawn. A soft exhale. A carefree squawk of laughter.
This year has been utterly different from what I hoped and planned for at the start of the year. It's brought many challenges and many unexpected gifts - more often than not out of those challenges. The end of the eternal winter and the start of the spring found me very low and I reached out for help. Antidepressants and counselling. Life rafts that have helped me float on through a year where the physical constraints of my knee injury had taken away two of my greatest balancers: regular yoga classes and long, wonder full rambles. They continue to help me now as I wait for an operation on my knee. Wait and unravel. Slowly slowly. No matter how slowly I think I am going there is a level beneath that my soul craves. Not a standstill but ponderous, languid, incremental.
I write this from my room of my own. Feeling a pull back to this virtual space as I seek to kindle sparks of inspiration. The eternal building project has a last few nails to be banged and walls to be painted but I am here in my very own space. Den. Studio. Nest. Craft room. Burrow. Study. Container of joy! It makes me feel like a teenager again, fussing in my bedroom, the rearrangements of furniture, pictures, books helping find a sense of who I am. Though teenage Sarah would have had her eyes on stalks at the range of fairy lights available.
Who knows what crafts will actually occur in here. At the moment the sheer pleasure of grouping like with like and dreaming of being able to lay my hand on the exact desired supply are enough.
As we descended towards the shortest day I could feel the need to turn within very strongly. I kept coming back to the image of a mossy hollow. Tucked in the earth, at the roots of a bare tree, a space where I could curl up in to a ball and let the days pass. It sounded soft and comforting, but the slowing has been awkward, and though the body tells me what it needs, keeping the mind, and the world around me to the same pace is always the challenge. As my new knitting project grows, I see the browns and dark greens are like the manifestation of the hollow. Happily a softer, cosier representation. Knitting this wrap is a process that literally helps me create the space I craved. I have been falling home from work and into its embrace all week. The long rows create a rhythm that wasn't in my hands as they scurried at the socks. Warm and safe from epic rains and winds. The hollow is the dip my bum is making in the sofa cushions.
One pair finished, another pair started. Could there ever be a time when I'm done with knitting socks? Can't believe so when my list of sock patterns to knit expands almost daily.
Pattern: Regia Free Basic Sock - stocking stitch all the way Yarn: Regia Nation - Colourway 5399 Needles: 2.25mm Harmony DPNs - still my favourite needles by so far, down to four after travelling with the them and snappying one - holding out for my birthday before I get reinforcements as I'm going to have to have the full set :o) Started: 23 May 2008 Finished: 8 June 2008 Notes: So nice and soothing to knit knit knit all the way round and let the yarn make the pattern. Must remember how quickly plain socks go when I'm in need of a fast FO. Loved this yarn for spring and bounce as well as colour. It felt to me very like the Lana Grossa wool/nylon blend. I find both of these to have a lot more oomph about them than the Trekking XXL which has the same composition. The New Hoping to be a good So…
I'm afraid to google the term 'rechilding' in case it goes the way it did when I searched for 'adult play' a few years back. Is sex still the most searched for thing on the internet? Hard to remember that when you tend to type in things like 'yoga for sore feet' or 'quince gin recipes'.
Anyway, all of that to say that I asked November for a beautiful day, after the first of the month dawned with the lowest of skies. To my delight today could not be more different. Blue skies, bright and warm, so I asked my too often ignored inner child what it wanted to do this morning. Taking a banana smoothie to the park seemed like a very easy request to grant.