It has been a week of crashed out, feeling much more poorly than I have for a long time and on Monday that had me in tears railing against the unfairness of still being ill. Then gradually as I've rested this week I've read and watched things that helped me realise that fighting with the reality of where I am gets me nowhere but trapped in that place of protest and suffering. By accepting the need to rest and recover some energy it's coming back all the faster than if I tried to push myself well. There is a state when I am so low with this illness that I almost lose sight of who I am and can believe almost anything (so long as it's awful!)of the situation, including that I will never be well despite a whole raft of evidence (and more and more lately) to the contrary. Yesterday I felt flickers of energy creeping in and picked up two balls of mohair and am now knitting a cloud* as I let my body heal. Let this be a step on the path from accepting what is to truly loving it.
*which there would have been a photo of except the computer and I currently can't agree on where that photo is so I shall accept that this pretty one of the woods will do anyway and love it.
Welcome to my little temple to Love here in the mysterious ether of the interweb. Make yourself cosy. May I get you a cup of tea? Feel free to take your shoes off or keep them on, here everything is sacred and nothing is sacred. I'm just trying to follow my breath and feel my way. I trust you'll forgive my Divine clumsiness.